When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

In the beginning of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and most cancers threat. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Right this moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re occupied with a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however in the event you’re any form of a daily drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. In the event you’re not ingesting through the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Discovering Stability within the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for at the least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a number of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually depends upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in the event you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In the event you spend numerous time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which results in numerous “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may need to take a step again.

You won’t even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply develop into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No arduous alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my ingesting had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been continually shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply resolve that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I don’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when occupied with alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and practical, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t have to hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In the event you’re able to get sincere with the function alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you might have strategies/suggestions for easy methods to make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new buddies – haha. However, critically, if your pals really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, you then may have to rethink who you’re spending time with. That you must work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober individual round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing slightly extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In the event you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam